滨海花园游

和老妈子到滨海花园游玩了一个下午，她回到家冲凉后看了台剧后九点钟就倒头大睡。看了一天的花草，累坏了，也满意了。幸好都是室内活动，到处有椅子歇脚。
她是典型的小女人，要儿子的注意力和服从，也对我兄弟的配偶诸多不满，对权力也不放手。当然她也吃了不少苦，才有我们今天的小康生活。我趁机开导她，不要多管儿子媳妇的闲事，她只要放松享受晚年就好。儿子们有自己的人生要去完成，她也该放手。老妈也许会想想我的话，只是她都没法放下我们吧。

能够在自己家里照顾她让我很感恩，也多亏小猪的支持才有这么舒服的家来招待老妈。

肥猫

肥猪游船河

肥猪今天又坐游轮。我们在11月15日刚刚坐皇家加勒比海回来，今天小肥猪又陪猪妈妈出海了。
今天刚好猫妈妈也来新加坡度假，这个周末是我们的家庭日。暂时要把对方都让给他的妈妈了。毕竟他们也上了年纪，不是每次都有出游的兴致。趁彼此缘分还在，尽我们的心力孝敬老人家吧。不止对父母如此态度，伴侣也是如此，我不会把什么事物当永恒。

肥猫

Tired but feel blessed

After working for weeks like a dog since June , I finally went for another meditation camp with my friend Alien in early July. This time I could  tahan longer without feeling my back is cracking into pieces  at the end of every session, and I have more control over my mind. Overall , I feel my body is more accustomed to the long meditation sessions than the last one.

After the meditation  camp, I plunged into another crazy week at work. At the end of the week, Porky cooked for me dinner for the 3 or 4 th time after years moving in to our place now, i must go buy toto. It was a good meal, sweet potato porridge , tao cheong  with egg plant,  eggs with onions, I truly enjoyed a good meal.

Last week is then another crazy week of study for a 5 days full time  training course at a private institute. Since the first day of my course , I have fall sick ( thanks to piggy ) and have to burn midnight oil, for the 5days  course is too packed for me to cope. Lots of exercises to be done each night  and lots of memorizing for exam , I can only sleep for like 5 to 6 hours every day. Finally it is over, I do not think I want to try again.

We watched The Big C last night on the cable tv, and Susan Sarandan asked Cathy , when was the last time she felt joy in herself ? For me , it is always the trips with Piggy.   We are now planning for our year end trip and the top 2 options are  Japan and  Australia.

 I read some writings from a Thai monk,  he said : 坚持完美的人和事这种概念是多余的，它只会制造不必要的痛苦。  Ppl are trying very hard to go for things that is pleasing to  their  senses, they want more and more  and it is never enough. It would only create tension/ stress / pain / resistance to simple but good things in life.  Everything  that is too perfect looks fake, things with flaws look real. I would rather eat foods that  is plain but with real ingredients , rather that something taste perfect but full of coloring / flavoring. Greedy for good smell / taste / appearance , and that is the reason why our foods are poisoned nowadays. He has also said that 无法自爱 的人， 没有能力去爱 别人。 I totally agree with that, I need to love myself more, after all I just learnt how to love someone else in the last ten years.

Darby

We are going to Phuket

We have booked for air and hotel to Phuket end of May, meeting my friends of bad influence there , Alien and Ah Lee. Both Porky and i are exhausted, he is having a rough time this year because of work and family, so am I. We both sufferred abit.

Buddhism does not encourage to do good for your own selfish desire , such as to have good karma, but it does acknowledge that doing good things will improve your life as your energy will change to positive and attracts good things. We are not saints, but we harm no one and try to be good person most of the time, to animal / ppl / environment . Doing what you believe in, little by little , things will change for better.

Darby

自备午餐

自从工作量越来越多后， 我两星期前开始自备午餐。
菜单如下：
1/ 生菜
2/ 番茄
3/ 芝士
4/火腿肉
5/水果
6/ 面包
7/ 水煮花椰菜和萝卜
8/自制腌黄瓜
9/袋装咖啡粉

以后我还想自己带腊肠炒饭，墨西哥餅皮，阿拉伯小米，麦片。

自备午餐的 好处是比较清淡无盐油，午餐后不会很睏， 感觉肚子很轻松， 无负担； 十五分钟吃完，不用外出排队买午餐，时间也多了出来。 坏处是： 没有和同事交流的机会，但我也不想再听他们的关于女性黄色笑话，听多了很腻。吃完了午餐还有半个小时，我会读书，投资或禅修类的较多。

下班后会外食，通常较不健康，可是也懒惰再弄晚餐了。

Darby

A day of Shame.............

I am disappointed with the result.  May be they can doctor the result , they can never win the heart of ppl with their filthy acts before the election.

Darby

重游永春园

今天我和生命中最爱我的妈妈和帅猫老公去了已营业84年之久的永春园吃中饭。地点是老公提议的。 老公说要请我妈妈吃饭，来孝敬她老人家。

我心想认识老公快十年了，但我们三个人很少一起出外用餐。又恰巧今天我的女佣周休。The timing's just nice。所以就一口答应老公的邀约。

出门前才从妈妈口中知道原来那也是她结婚时摆喜酒的地方。好巧！ 妈妈说好久没去永春园了。也不知道永春园已经搬到牛车水附近。

我们三个人吃了八样点心。食物的水准大致上都令我满意。价钱也还好。只是老公好像吃不惯太多油炸和几乎都是已肉为馅料的点心。妈妈也吃得不多。结果还是我做大胃王。把他们不吃的点心扫完。

我希望会有更多类似今天的三人行。也希望能有机会和老公的妈妈一起用餐。让我也能尽一份我的心意。

兜

不习惯

爸爸过世八天。家里少了他的影子。很不习惯。

虽然他不是我的精神依靠，但是我还是有失落感。顿时觉得整天让我忙得喘不过气的工作再也不重要。

昨晚梦见爸爸。我问他肚子还痛吗？他说还是有一点痛，没完全好。

他走得突然。我没机会和他道别。听他交待任何事或话。心里除了难过，还有很多遗憾。

现在脑子里唯一想要的是他能有好的结果。再也没有病痛。

我再也不能让工作颠覆我的人生。我要把妈妈照顾好。不能因为工作而忽略家人。

兜

无常

今天凌晨小猪的父亲辞世了。 虽然小猪劳心劳力负担和照顾洗肾多年脾气古怪的他，已经现在社会少见的好儿子。今天他还是莫名其妙的自责流泪，没有更好的照顾他。我自问不如小猪，没能力和耐性如他这般奉养父亲，因我脾气也不好，不会忍气吞声好言相劝。心里希望小猪，学会放下，接受无常本来就是生命的根本。

到了四十岁，身边的长辈慢慢一个一个离开。 不由得你不想，今天在生活中公司里和别人斗得你死我活，家财万贯，你就满意你的人生吗？ 每天麻木的工作娱乐睡觉，到两脚一伸就是你要的人生？人生苦乐参半还要再来一回吗？要不要到临走时才想，接下来是什么？ 我只知道，如果轮回是真的，我不想再回来。好累。


常听到大悲咒，第一次听到会让人边听边掉泪版本，只有齐豫的梵音大悲咒。

Darby



【梵音大悲咒】
【专辑：唱经给你听－佛心】
【演唱：齐豫 · 张淑蓉】
Namo Ratna Trayaya,
Namo Arya Jnana
Sagara, Vairochana,
Byuhara Jara Tathagataya,
Arahate, Samyaksam Buddhaya
Namo Sarwa Tathagate Bhyay,
Arhata Bhyah,
Samyaksam Buddhe Bhyah
Namo Arya Avalokite
shoraya Bodhisattvaya
Maha Sattvaya,
Maha Karunikaya
Tadyata, Om Dara Dara,
Diri Diri, Duru Duru
Itte We, Itte Chale Chale
Purachale Purachale,
Kusume Kusuma Wa Re
Ili Milli, Chiti Jvalam, Apanaye Svaha


南無怛納達拉雅雅 南無阿裏雅佳納
薩嘎拉貝勒佳納 尤哈拉佳雅
達他嘎達雅 阿拉哈帝 桑雅桑布達雅
納摩薩嚕哇 達他噶提唄
阿啦哈達唄 桑雅桑布提唄
南摩阿里雅阿哇嚕格帝
秀哇啦雅 布地薩埵哇雅
瑪哈薩埵哇雅 瑪哈嘎嚕尼加雅
達地雅他嗡 達啦 達啦
提力 提力 杜露 杜露
易笛威 易笛 加列 加列
不啦加列 不啦加列
固蘇美 固蘇瑪哇壘
易利 密積地 作哈啦
瑪巴 納雅 梭哈

打坐日记 （4）

天下太平， 很久没有上网了。之前提到打坐时会转动脖子，最近都比较少发生。

最近因为过年，打坐比较少，但很快进入，呼吸细微稍久，眼皮底下放光，开始是出现一只黑色眼珠的大眼睛，就观它。 慢慢它就变成一个紫色光圈，光圈边缘是黑色，像是隧道般可以往前。 丹田呼吸似断非断。 当这过去后，眼前变成胶着的云层，开始另一个体验，上半身脱离下半身往空间膨胀变大。好像从一月份开始，左头顶的气压开始出现，不会散去。

今天下班后，脚底手指气感很强，读完金刚经就去打坐，很快就静下来，感觉身体不断膨胀变大，脖子右边发烫。头顶凉凉的像有股水柱缓缓从上往下倒入头顶，同时背后有股气像抛物线脱离身体接去头顶，到后来忘记身体存在，好像只剩头部。到快下坐时，感觉自己一点点慢慢缩小，最后归位。按摩暖身后，感觉很舒畅。
享受打坐的快乐。

Darby

Virgo Cruise before CNY

It is nothing new nowadays for ppl to go on cruise for days to stuff themselves with foods to fatten themselves after, i have not try it yet untill i am 39 years old, which the cruise journey just ended today.

Piggy had a pair of free ticket for 2 after patronizing Star Cruise for many years and he asked me to join him for the trip this time, which i gladly said yes of course. We boarded on Virgo on Friday night on 11 Jan, right after work. We were hungry and decided to check in our cabin and went for our dinner. After a buffet dinner, which both us of were too full to do anything else, we went for a musical on the cruise, which was quite entertaining with acrobats and opera singing. That night Piggy went for casino untill 3am.

The next day we slept until 8 am and ate our breakfast , the routine repeated again and again, we were like pigs in a farm, eat sleep shit eat sleep and shit. We did some reading and wandering around the cruise. During lunch time , Piggy managed to sweet talk to a few Aunties, trying to persuade them to marry their daugthers to him. He is always good at sweet talk to older ladies with compliments such as : " you have good personality and ppl will like you ... you have good taste and dressed well. ". Hmmph, i really cannot stand it. After watching a movie, we rushed with 100 meter dash to our afternoon tea as we were late and only 10 minutes left before it closed. The second night Piggy went for gambling again and i slept.

Last day, we did nothing again except reading after breakfast. Piggy and i were like other retired old couples on the cruise, totally lazed off and did nothing. Isnt it life is good ?

Darby

打坐日记 （3）

因为公司年底停止生产，我和胖猪去曼谷度假４天，每天都睡得饱饱，吃得很好。这次我们还是回到Pathumwan Princess ， 因为酒店有很棒的泳池，健身房，很好的瑜伽老师，又和MBK连接。

这次我们还发现了BanKhun Mae 这间地道泰式餐厅， 连续吃了两餐，都让我们捧着肚子满意的回酒店。 这样过着吃喝睡购物运动的4天，休息得很好，人也晒得黑黑的。 只是那几天肩膀，膝盖，腰部，好像都没刚开始打坐时的那么好, 人也有点上火。

让人口水直流的青咖哩，开心果炒鸡肉，炒时蔬，班兰叶包鸡等等

泰式炒米粉， 黄梨炒虾仁，撒拉， 鱼饼。

我们回来后第二天，正好是1月1日。 中午打坐后，发现额头一直胀起来， 而且会不自主的往左侧弯曲， 不敢久坐。 1月2日，晚上读楞严经，晚上气又发动， 一直冲到额头胀起来。现在已不奇怪，任由它发挥。 第二天起来， 发现劳损好久的右肩膀和膝盖关节好像放了润滑剂，不再大声咔咔做响，额头中的一粒很顽固的肿块突然消下去了。

1月3日，阴天，晚上九点打坐半小时，坐中眼睛痒痒的，我想动手去抓痒，却发现动作好慢，好像在月球般动不了。抓痒后，停了一会儿，再继续打坐。 头又往左侧弯曲， 任由它去， 发现头一直弯曲到耳朵快碰到肩膀，突然有一股暖气从头顶左边吹进头脑里， 那股力量就不见了， 头又直了起来。

这一两天，身体感觉又好多了，心里很静，没有喜悦感觉。

Darby