i am now on my 3rd week of job hunting from 5 Jan, Porky was comforting me to take it easy. Before i came back to Singapore , i knew that it will be hard , but when i am back and going through the process, the stress of being jobless is way much to bear. Tight on my cash for expenses on myself and new housing, although i have more than enough for me to tide through a year easily. I just cannot make myself to spend on the things i want , eg my suitcase, swimming goggles, new business pants,etc. I know i can afford it for now, but i just feel bad to spend on these as i am not holding a job yet. That is called insecure.
i do not enjoy the lazy noon too, although i finally can sleep till 9 am everyday. I will spend the whole morning on job hunting, sending resumes , making calls. Luckily Porky made me travelled around the whole Singapore in the afternoon to check on the price of the furniture / electrical appliances to get the best deal, bcs in the afternoon i am usually done with job hunting and too bored to stay in my room. If not i will go for a swim or reading at library, sounds heavenly good to me when i was in cold SHG but feels really bad when you are jobless in Singapore.I am just fated to be a white mice in the the rat race, who just cannot truly enjoy my long holidays. Porky make it a point that every night he will make sure i eat well and he always order too much till i have gastric pain. That is the way he shows his love.
At night i am usually back to my rented place at 10 pm , after a whole day out for checking on prices and meeting up with Porky. I usually fall asleep at 12 midnight after shower, without fail.
The feeling is not good but it makes me humble and mature, having spent years at oversea with better income that i almost forgot that life is full of ups and downs. I am just bearing with it to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a very reliable companion along the way, luckily.
Darby
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